You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
