I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
