Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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