I want to walk on stilts...naked
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
