bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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