Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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