All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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