DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
