How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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