I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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