I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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