This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
