We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
