Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
