when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
