Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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