I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
