I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
