her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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