Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
