WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
