At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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