I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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