Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
