So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
