so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
