I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
