is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
