You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
