Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
