Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
