i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
