North Korea, Best Korea!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
