need another drink. this is the easiest way
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
