I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
