I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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