Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
