I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i came on her dog
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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