if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize