You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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