i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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