whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
