whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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