Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
