surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
