they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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