wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
