Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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