I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
