GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize