Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
