he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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