Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
