god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How's work?
Spinning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
