Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
