he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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