if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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