therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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