My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
