you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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