a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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