Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
