real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
