I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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